Greendale Welcomes Newest, Youngest Faculty Member: Dougie Howard

Dean Pelton announced that the Numerology and Statistics Department would be getting a new faculty member; recent MIT (Montana Institute of Technology) doctoral graduate Dougie Howard. "Professor Howard brings star power and pizzazz to the Numerology and Statistics Department and to Greendale as a whole."

Professor Howard is a mild celebrity for being the youngest doctoral graduate in U.S. History at age 5. Howard graduated from home school at age 2, then finished undergraduate 14 months later. "I'm willy happy that I can come wook  at Gweendale," said Howard. "It's my fewst job since gwaduating, but I think I can willy contwibute."

Next semester Professor Howard will be teaching "The Predictive Power of Numbers." It will be offered Monday and Wednesday from 3:00 PM - 5:00 PM with an hour break for nap time.