Power Outage Strikes Campus, Article Written By iTouch

Campus was dark yesterday as an unexplained power outage struck Greendale. Twitter was atweet with tweets about not being able to see anything except phone screens. Many students with wifi only devices were unable connect to voice their opinions. "How is anyone going to know what I have to say if I can't get on twitter, post to my blog, or add a video to my youtube channel?" complained longtime Greendale student Leonard Briggs. "Can I use your iphone when you're done with it?"

Dean Pelton rushed to campus from a "costume party" when the power went out. He is in a fish suit. I wish this thing had a working flash. "I want to assure students that power will be restored in a timely manner. I am currently waiting for a callback from a customer service manager, which should come in the next four hours. Then it is just a matter of waiting for the technicians to come into work tomorrow morning and find the service order, and then come out and fix the problem."

Many students attempted to enter the Air Conditioning Annex, which retained power thanks to several backup generators, but were turned away by Vice Dean Laybourne. "Admittance to the Air Conditioning Annex is open only to students and faculty of the Air Conditioning Annex" he said before re-locking the door.